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HOW TO: Convince her to have anal sex

Monday, April 14th, 2008 Write a comment

Here’s what works for me.

You have to condition them that sexual pleasure is always present when there is something in her ass or some kind of ass play. Even if the cause of the sexual pleasure for her, isn’t the ass aspect, it should have convinced her enough to try it. Thus, whenever messing around, always rub the outside of her asshole, usually with your thumb.

A good trick when you are hitting from behind is to rub it with your thumb without sticking in your thumb. Eventually you can kind of rub it open. It’s not by sticking your thumb in pointy side first, but like you are pressing with the ball of your thumb.

Back to the main point…

Whenever you are eating her out, or having sex and her pleasure is increasing, always have a digit there or some kind of presence. As she is getting ready to cum, slowly slide in more and more fingers or increase the presence.

You can’t do it too quick or you will mess up. Then she will equate things in her ass to ruining her orgasm, rather than contributing to them. Even if she derives no pleasure from something in her ass, in her mind, she will realize whenever she comes theres something in her ass. Thus, something in her ass can make her cum. Creating the perfect girlfriend is a lot like training a dog. Sometimes you have to trick them, but it’s out of love. The anal thing is an art, and it took me all of college to figure out.

Your chances.

85% of girls will be down with you playing with their ass and you should be able to get them to equate getting off with shit in their ass. Eat a lot of pussy, and after she’s really fucking hot, then start fucking with her ass and escalate it till she gets off. Now some chicks just freak out when they feel anything in their ass. If thats the case, dump her.

Now, when you get her to let you have anal sex, make sure she’s drunk and make sure you put more oil on that shit than an F-1 car. Take it slow, and don’t go more than half way in the first time. Even if she’s digging it, take it slow. Don’t comment on there being any shit on your dick, even if there is, and tell her how sexy she looks.

About Her.

What you are trying to do is subconsciously equate her being beautiful (or funny, or smart or whatever it is she wants to be) with taking it in the ass. You know what sells to your girlfriend. You want to equate that action with whatever she wants to be. This works for anything.

Learn how she wants to be seen, when you want to reinforce that behavior. When the behavior is present, you make them feel how they want to feel. Again, it’s an art and it takes practice. You know, you really gotta dog a chick when they do what you want.

A big part of the fun of doing a chick in the ass is you get to give them grief about it, and ’shame’ them for it afterwards. Don’t do this after the first time. Don’t do it after the third time. Wait until it’s on the menu for sure.

Let’s say you are sitting next to her with an audience of her parents. Lean into her ear and whisper, “(insert her father’s name here) daughter just had a big angry cock in her ass” Watch her choke on her water and laugh to yourself.

Signs to Watch.

Remember, NO means NO, except…

  • if she says it in any of the following ways you’re good - whispers, teasingly, jokingly, as she pants from the sex, as she is bouncing still on your cock, as she pushes herself back onto your dick.
  • if she says these you aren’t - ouch; stops the sex altogether and says no; punches your throat; starts crapping all over; pukes on you…

You’ll know if she likes it because if she does she’ll be going double time. If she doesn’t, she’ll be crying, so 50/50.

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Amsterdam Red Light District Part 2

Monday, March 24th, 2008 Write a Comment

More from the Red Light District

Amsterdam Red Light district

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AMSTERDAM: Red Light District - Part 1

Sunday, March 23rd, 2008 Write a Comment

amsterdam red light district

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Most embarrassing sexual experience

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 Write a Comment

I had my most embarrassing sexual experience while I had a head full of acid.

Shortly after taking a few too many squares on the tongue, I found myself alone in the living room of a house which several of my friends rented. A space-themed porn was on the TV; a late-70’s or early 80’s porn, in which the porn stars and starlets floated about in some type of spaceship.*

I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in my left hand, made from roughly one jar of peanut butter, and one jar of grape jelly. I decided that my best bet would be to kill two birds with one stone and masturbate while I ate this sloppy sandwich, a good third of which had already found its way to the floor.

Because everything had to be done quickly, quickly, I began masturbating at a faster pace than I usually take, my head swimming with LSD. I was alternately biting into the filthy sandwich, peanut butter and jelly covering most of my face, then quickly attempting to concentrate on masturbating. The space porn was not helping much, and neither were the taxidermied crows and other random animals hanging from the walls in the room.

After a few minutes, I became very concerned with getting caught in this “not-so-fresh” state, and somehow finished masturbating. Then I finished eating my sandwich. I pulled up my pants, painted with baby batter, peanut butter, and jelly, and waited for my friends to return. I was not caught.

Do you need to be caught to be embarrassed by something you’ve done? Absolutely not. If you think otherwise, what do you think the jelly was?

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Top Ten Strip Clubs in the World

Saturday, March 15th, 2008 1 Comment

Summer is coming and many of you might be taking some sort of vacation. Keep in mind wherever you may be there is likely to be a fine or not so fine local strip club for you and the family to enjoy (oh the wife will love it). If you happen to be in any of the following cities, you are in luck as each of them has a club currently in the top 10 best strip clubs in the world.

Number 10
Brandi’s, Vancouver, Canada
Type: Nude

When Hollywood heads north to make movies, Brandi’s is the de rigueur joint for nighttime fun. It is, in fact, where Ben Affleck was spotted, kicking off his relationship woes with J.Lo. The women of Brandi’s love their craft and really flaunt it. They do several songs per set before walking around and offering private shows, and are even known to chat you up without pressuring you to pay. The best part: neck and shoulder massages offered by naked women.

Number 9
Colibri, Hamburg, Germany
Type: Nude and live sex

The St. Pauli district of Hamburg can be described as the Las Vegas of sex, with strip joints and peep shows as loud, bright and gaudy as those in America’s gambling capital. Colibri is a gentlemen’s club, but of the Hamburg variety, which means that offering naked women isn’t enough. But the live sex shows have as much finesse and good taste as live sex shows can . One act features the Changing of the Guard at Buckingham Palace, wherein a young maiden tempts a famously reticent English guard into passionate lovemaking. And they do it to classical music.

Number 8
Chez Pare, Montreal, Canada
Type: Nude

Visitors to the great white north know that Montreal is the single best North American destination for adult entertainment. With an ethnically diverse population and large university contingent, the women of Montreal are stunningly beautiful, and liberal in attitude. Chez Paree is dubbed “Montreal most elegant gentlemen’s club,” offering the hottest women who will dance at your table or perform girl-on-girl shows for reasonable prices. Even the VIP room is a bargain, at least by strip club standards. However, this is not a Montreal “contact” club, so keep your hands to yourself.

Number 7
Dolls, Moscow, Russia
Type: Topless

Russia’s business elite (and even foreign business types and celebrities) have come to depend on Dolls for high-class adult entertainment. Dolls — Moscow’s first strip club — breaks every mold of the strip club genre with its elegance and excellence. You can dine in style with the best view of Russian women, whose beauty is the stuff of legends. The shows are carefully rehearsed and uniquely spectacular, but there’s a reason only the very rich come here. Be ready to see your bank account thin out after a night here.

Number 6
Goldfingers, Melbourne, Australia
Type: Nude

Goldfingers is a complete bar that includes a restaurant, poolroom, cigar lounge, and four separate areas where Australia’s sexiest women show what they’re made of (depending on how up-close and personal you want to get). Distinguished men doing business down under — that is, in Australia — and distinguished locals alike hold group functions at Goldfingers, as evidenced by the refined garb of the patrons.

Number 5
Scores, New York, New York
Type: Topless

Manhattan’s premier gentlemen’s club is the place where George Clooney throws his birthday bashes and Chuck Norris bid bachelorhood adieu. Large, classy and featuring scores of girls (natch) to suit every taste, you’ll often find celebrities and high rollers at the club, dining on a fine steak while receiving a lap dance. You can enjoy the show from the buzzing Showroom, or chill in the Champagne Lounge for the best view of center stage. Those with no spending limits on their plastic can book the private President’s Club, where dancers personally serve clients.

Number 4
Blue Rose, Ibiza, Spain
Type: Nude

If Ibiza is the epicenter of hedonism, then Blue Rose is its crowning jewel. Like much of the island itself, the shows at the Rose take it up a notch, with lots of girl-on-girl action and simulated sex acts — it sometimes gets messy when whipped cream and champagne get involved. Unique to the Rose is the level of interaction between stage dancers and the audience, but it’s always respectful. Of course, lap dances are offered, and always by girls who love what they do.

Number 3
Crazy Horse, Paris, France
Type: Nude cabaret

Forget the Moulin Rouge. The gentlemen’s cabaret with a naughty French twist is only found at the fabled Crazy Horse. All seats are facing the main stage, where intricate nude shows stretch every definition of entertainment. Gorgeous women bathe for the audience, frolic to songs, and use their bodies as canvases for light and laser acts. Always renewing itself, the Crazy Horse highlights the naked female not only as something to be admired, but also as something artistic.

Number 2
Seventh Heaven, Tokyo, Japan
Type: Topless

Tokyo’s most successful gentlemen’s club features mostly European and American dancers, who win over clients thanks to their friendliness; they sit and chat with customers without pressuring them to buy drinks or pay for private dances. If you do get a personal show, you’ll surely notice the club’s rather lax no-touching rule (some girls will take your hands and make you touch them). However, like most of Tokyo, a full night out can get very expensive.

Number 1
Crazy Horse Too, Las Vegas, Nevada
Type: Topless

An offshoot of the Parisian original, Crazy Horse Too sets the standard for gentlemen’s clubs in Sin City. In fact, it’s where legendary porn star Jenna Jameson learned the ropes (or, shall I say, poles?). Both natural and enhanced women do their thing on two stages and there’s a spillover area for packed nights. A VIP room will ensure that you get more personal attention — three songs worth. If you go on a good night, tip well and treat your dancer politely — you might be rewarded with a more “special” lap dance.

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Dominican Republic story - Part 14

Sunday, March 2nd, 2008 Write a Comment

I ran up stairs and took a quick shower then came back down and there were about 5 dames in the pool 3 new england chicks and two dominican chicas….. the new england chicks were from hampton and they were pale as the white whalls on a 70’s pimp tires…. but for sme reason I found their new england accent and proper use of english to be sexy ( dont ask why )

but …………. those dominican chicks were looking like graceful super models swimming around a warm pool that seemed to be built for the sole purpose of complimenting their youthful bodies

I decided to ignore the new england chicks and concentrate on the chicas, besides I knew those hampton borads were there looking for sankies ( more on this later) and I was not even close to being ready for playing that role in some sorta production for underachievers who overeat

I ordered a brugal and a presidente… the sun beaming its hot and pussy is floating all around this pool in front of me plus

…. “im americano”

….. I asked myself what the fuck happened to my plans of a culture trip and research etc etc… ? I guess I was caught off guard by the sheer beauty of these dominican objects and this pretty much fucked up my whole game plan

……I took a sip from my presidente…. this trip was now officialy about gettin laid

and this is where things start to get Interesting

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Dominican Republic story - Part 13

Saturday, March 1st, 2008 Write a Comment

Now that the situation was clear I decided to play the game like I was in the states and show these people why they say you cant play a playa, the girl was really digging me ( for real ) and had this been chicago or vegas that pimp’s stable would have been -1 in strength. I feeling this chick up all kinda ways and tryna figure out how the hell a chick so beautiful working in a whore house….. or shit im thinking this cant be a whore house all the dames are dimes…. so whats the fuckin deal

I decided to test my instinct and looked right at the DJ and said how much… I was more interested in his facial exspression then his words because this would tell me more of what was reall going on

he paused and said ” no caprendae” but his facial expression told me he was full of shit and was playing the role for profit…. no conprendae with his facial expression confirmed to me that hell yeah this was a whore house and that this chick I was holding on to like she was the last supper was a island prostitute. A Prostitute that looked better then any chick I had ever seen back home……….

qaunto? in spanish this means how much

1500 pesos later we arrive back at the plaza real and im in anguish because I was kinda feelin like a trick paying 1500 pesos for this broad to spend the night with me I kept tellin myself I didnt do it to have sex with her because that would be trickin … but instead I did it to save her from the evil club owner / pimp motherfuckers who counted my pesos and laughed as I walked her out the door. When she looked at me her eyes had a quiet shy way of saying thank you pussyserver thank you with all my soul… but I know we could never be

Truth be told, I am the kinda guy who dont care what anybody think about me so I have to be honest here….. she was so beautiful that in the states she would have had a boy alley do backflips off parked cars and eat raw squid out of her hands

As we walked up to my room im still thinking to myself ” does this make me a trick?” and how the hell could this chick be a prostitute? im tellin you she nor any of the girls in that place looked anything close to a prostitute, they look like a group of prep broads walking thru an upscale mall

We sat on the bed and She gave me her story of hardship and told me her husband had forced her to work at illusions the previos week. she didnt have any kids and had just had her sida ( aids) test come back negative…. I dont play with my cock so regardless of what kinda test she had come back… I reached for the magnums

the light….. ( to be continued )

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Dominican Republic story - Part 12

Friday, February 29th, 2008 Write a Comment

lack of information can be misinformation in a foreign land where a man cannot understand the local dialect

we pull up in front of illusions and right away the first thing you notice is about 4 dime pieces sitting at the outside table chillin and hanging out 2 red bones and two carmel honies all with perfect skin beautiful long hair and roughly 18- 22 years old as we walked up they said hola and although I could have said hola back I said “hello” this shit set of a frenzy of chicas to gain my attention while by swarming around me and smiling and giving me that innocent take me away come hither or just plain fuck me look…. at this exact moment I felt like a king

im hangin at the bar having a brugal slowy fading into drunkedness when this female comes and stand in front of the other ones vying for my attention and hits me with a smile so beautiful I fucked up my boxers… TMI , I know but really thats how pretty she was. since she did not speak any english her friend had to translate for me… she said she liked me and that she was married but the relationship wasnt going to well and that she had a fetish for american men she had seen on TV but had never been with one…… I was thinking about what a shame it would be to not bless her with the pleasure, the more we talked the more the other chicks started to fall back as if to show her respect because it was obvious I was feeling this young chica… im buzzed, shorty all over me smelling like spring flowers and love and the music is mid level with a medium light in the place…..if a black man could ever be on cloud 9 then shit im guessin this is where I was

………but wait……

body language is universal and thers something about the conversation her titties are having with my eyes that has me slightly on the defensive

then it hit me

this was a whore house

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Dominican Republic story - Part 11

Thursday, February 28th, 2008 Write a Comment

………the plaza real…………

for 45 bucks a night I had a two room apartment with tile floors and a full kitchen ( mini fridge and hot plate) ceiling fans in each room with a view of the beach across the street.

I put my bag down picked my cigs and condoms up and headed out the door.

the plaza real is like an apartment complex / hotel / resort all built into place. with a poolside bar and a resturant in the back. I had decided mentally that we would only spend 1 day here and keep it movin back toward santo domingo

but……….

while I was down in the front lobby knocking down some work on the computer …. my friend was in the pool and had already started flirting with the chick who owned the poolside bar so when I walked out the hotel office all I heard was Draeeeeeee yo come jump in man the waters great… I look toward the pool and the he in that biotch chillin with two chicas one a short red bone and the other a honey brown….. theses were the chicks that owned / worked at the swim up pool bar.

up to this point its been moving constant since we got off the plane and truth be told I was somewhat tired…… then I saw her shake her ass… I ordered a presidente and started what would turn out to be the first of at least 30

we sat at the poolside bar and kicked it with these chicks and drank and listened to their music from around 1 PM until 9 PM these chicks seemed to be crazy about us so for the most part we just chilled out and fed off the attention ( this was like some reverse sex role type stuff where the man is the object of a bunch of chicks attention… amazin mane amazin)

at about 9:30 the broads was ready to close their bar down. they said they were gonna go home and change then come back and spend the night partying with us……..so we waited

hhahahaha at 11:30 PM the hotel security told us that they had called and said they wasnt gonna be able to make it because of the rain and that they were real sorry etc etc and that they would make it up to us…

I wasnt nad because being stood up in the states can happen anytime plus it really was raining and they were riding 2 deep on a motor scooter

so now we think what the fuck we gone do….. in the DR there are two things that are for sale no matter what time of day or where you are…. taxi’s and pussy

we walked out onto the strip that rides the shore all the way down ( imagine A1A in daytona with aprox 1/5 the hotels and shops, the first car that drive by we flag them down and tell them ” mi americano” CHICAS?

we jump in the car with this guy and he starts tellin us about the diffrent spots all around the place he speaks of this club illusions that isnt far… he says the place is always packed with girls and that they will go crazy when the see americano….so lets go

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Dominican Republic story - Part 10

Wednesday, February 27th, 2008 Write a Comment

I had planned to rent a car but after hearing all the horror stories about driving in the DR I changed my mind and decided I would just cab it around the country. I had planned to spend most of my time in santo domingo but the previous day in boca chica went so fast I forgot all about santo domingo and took the cabbies advice when he told me to check out juan dolio. Driving along the the main highway road that goes east to west and connect santo domingo and boca chica and I think the other place was called san jose or san pedro you see nothing but ran down battered houses and beach all the way

upon ariving in juan dolio the cabbie stopped to holler at some cats on bikes and ask them where should we stay if we were looking to party away from the regular tourist and that we were street savvy enough to hold our own

………the plaza real…………

for 45 bucks a night I had a two room bungalow apartment with tile floors and a full kitchen ( mini fridge and hot plate) ceiling fans in each room with a view of the beach across the street.

I put my bag down picked my cigs and condoms up and headed out the door.

………….next : The Concept of Sankie and its effects on mongers like me visiting the DR as well as how me and the homie reversed sanki some chicks … also club illusions , the street fest in san pedro … the american from boston creepin and dominican ghetto + german tourist = a shank, brugal and cocaine = us stranded in the hood at 5 am about 30 minutes from our hotel ,,, almost watched a murder , club illusions, the casino, martel or some shi† like that andstreet fest day 2

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